Earlier I was reading CJ's Blog and I have to say that I laughed out loud at his posting entitled:
Australian Tourism: Questions Answered
If you want to read the posting it's at: http://www.scriptorsenex.blogspot.com/ - It appears under Family Blogs on the right of this page. However a taster (which would be less funny if the question didn't originate in the USA) is:
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.